Always at the beginning

After yet another tough hike around Bukit Shabandar yesterday morning, I met a friend in the changing rooms who took one look at my totally exhausted self and said: "It's always hardest in the beginning!".
Well, my problem is and has always been (apart from during the training for the mountain climb, when I manage to get the buzz) - that I'm always at the beginning.

I try to get fit. I try to loose weight. I try and try, and it is hard in the beginning. So I give up.
Back to square one. I try again, and try and try - and give up... and that's how it continues. Same old story, over and over again.

If someone would have told me 2 years ago, that a year later I would climb a mountain - I would have laughed really hard and been it total disbelief. But I did climb that mountain!
Today, when I think back a year, I think to myself I must be imagining it all. It couldn't have happened? I laugh and am in total disbelief and think how on earth did I do that?!?

Yesterday I stopped in the middle of what used to be my favourite hill (Bukit Shabandar is a forestry recreational park made up of nine hills) and had a little cry.
I cried because everything feels too hard at the moment, and I'm sick of always being at the beginning.